Time to renew my ALA membership. I do it by phone because the web site is crazymaking. However, navigating the voice mail isn't much better... here is the actual list of options you are presented with when you call, in the order they are given. Don't even get me started on the use of the word "dial." They claim to have a "dial by name" feature which, of course, doesn't work if you actually have a rotary phone.

• to reach ALA's dial-by-name feature, press 2
• to place an order for graphics or books, for questions regarding an existing order, or to request a catalog, press 7
• for info about ALA's 2003 conference, press 4
• for questions regarding journal or magazine subscriptions, press 8
• member or customer service, press 5
• to register for other conferences, press 6
• for information about libraries, or ALA's programs or activities, press 3
• for all other calls, or if you are calling from the rotary phone, please stay on the line

Pressing 1, adorably, gets you "back" to the menu. Pressing the unlisted 0 will get you to the operator. This is an easter egg, I suppose. Smart readers may clue in to the fact that these numbers are ALL out of order, with the exception perhaps of five and six. Smart readers may also say "Hey wait, isn't this the voice mail tree for a nationwide association of librarians who are supposed to be the experts in managing and organizing information?" Smart readers probably also joined SLA or ASIS years ago.